we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
