I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
