btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
