I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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