No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize