Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
