I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize