How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
