good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
