beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
