some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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