dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
