I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
