so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
