you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize