Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
