physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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