I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we have pet lesbian snakes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
