i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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