She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
