In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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