Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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