Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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