did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
