he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
