with your own penis?
if you like me you must not know who I am
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
