Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize