Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
