:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Randomize
