They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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