I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
