so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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