Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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