I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have fence marks all over my body
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
