no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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