At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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