you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
pop tarts are not kleenex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
