The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
