Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
