so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
