But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
