omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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