awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize