so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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