I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
they're like a gay fantastic four
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
