There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
