Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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