I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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