did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
