shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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