That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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