end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
