Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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