hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
