did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize