Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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