My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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