are you still at the devil's house?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize