do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
