So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
